Rejoice!

Now that my nursing days are done I have had more time to invest in other projects.  Like this chore chart system for instance, needed to go through 3 revisions before we came to this one, yet I like the color codes because then we switch it up every month.  So far all the work of implementing them has paid off. 

I was also inspired by my sister to buy (only $25!!) from Ikea this shoe rack - it opens up on an angle and is an excellent storage system for supper time Bibles and Psalm books.  Loving it!!! 

Madilyn is right in there with Nadia now at craft time. 

This was my "almost done, I just have to see it!" version of the Indian Blanket quilt. 

When I was done the last complex row I switched things up to this version but I knew it still wasn't right. 

In the end, I was most happy with the heavy, darker colors on the bottom.  And..I fixed the blue 6 inch row and seperated the two darker blues.  I'm not super crazy about how it looks.  I'm hoping once I quilt it I will like it better.  The sewing on the other hand is probably the neatest , straightest I have ever done so for that I am thankful.

I was going to throw this out - but thought I would share it first.  

It's from VBS - Matthew made it.  The plaque is too heavy for the magnet and won't stay up on the fridge.  It's beautiful. 

 I finally found something to decorate the kitchen wall with!!!  

I really love it!!!  My Mom cross-stitched a magnet with the same verse - it's on my fridge.  

Joshua 24;15. 

"Without change, there would be no butterflies". -  unknown

Straight open pressed seams just waiting to be joined and quilted together!!  

"Hi Mom!"

"AHHH Mom!"

Lots of things to be rejoicing about. 

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. "

Matthew 11:28

"Praise be to the LORD, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens."  Psalm 68:19

Mix and Match

Patience's Garden - Copyright Peter

Sunday afternoon pedicures care of Daddy - Priceless.

Best Friends - Double Trouble...

Three rows for Indian Blanket quilt.

Three rows added to other two bigger rows equals five rows.  Seven more to go!!! 

Crazy bathtub picture must have. 

Warm fleece to become a sleep sack.  

I read several tutorials on line and some of the instructions were confusing to my intuitive brain. 

Finally I said to myself "Forget it, just start and figure it out as you go!".  Which is what I did. 

I cut out the fabric using my already well used sleep sack.  I added inches on the bottom and made the arms bigger and added 1/2 an inch around.  It was my first time putting in a zipper and putting it in on the side saves cutting and sewing time!!!  It went way easier than I thought it would.  Aleana helped me as I don't have a zipper foot and her machine does. 

I used ribbing around the neck and arms.  I loved sewing with the ribbing and was very happy with the end result of it.  

Aleana played with the camara while I sewed. 

So...some things I would do differently...

I used 2 inch wide ribbing in the neck and should have used 3 inch like in the arms - it doesn't look as tidy.  I had that ric a rac in my box and thought it would look nice.  Aleana said it looks weird.  I love color and seemed to have over done that aspect with the result being closer to a clown suit than a nice pyjama ensemble.  The zipper should match the ribbing and not be contrasting to prevent the whole circus look, however in the end - I say "C'est la vie!" as it will keep her from jumping out of her crib and I am super stoked about making another one and making it better.  It took me 3 hours but I know next time it will be faster - and easier!!!     

I would also make the arm holes smaller ( I thought I would have to make them bigger for a bigger size, but I guess her arms really don't grow as much as the rest of her - tehe)  and maybe make it about 1-2 inches shorter.  I would love to make one of these for the summer so that that is all she wears.  Nice and light.  Do you think I would have to make a liner because one layer of fabric is not as durable? 

Maybe in flannel?   

Madilyn was super happy to model her sleep sack.  I was really delighted to have figured out how to make one and I can see a lot more of these rolling out of my little factory in the future!!!  

New Beginnings

Today, I have some quiet moments and I just feel like writing.  I totally weaned Madilyn 5 days ago and I am really sad today about it.  I know it was the right thing to do because all my inconsistency about it was just confusing her and she is sleeping better and is much happier now.  Even though, my mind knows that, my heart is sad.  I miss my time with her and although we still snuggle it's not the same.  WAAAAAAAA.  

Okay, I got that out.  It's extra hard too because she's the youngest and possibly the last one (one never knows what God has planned) so it just makes it although the more hard.  I think this the first baby I weaned from 3-4 feedings a day to zilch and man oh man have my hormones taken a fun loop.  The other day, there was nothing that was going to come between me and my breast pump.  Will learned that the hard way. "Honey, maybe you should just let them (being my bosom) figure it out and leave it?" The coveted flat chested  man carefully said not to upset his ever agitated wife.  Isn't there some song about "Hear me Roar!!"?   Well, Will heard me roar.  Not nice. Thankfully, he was very understanding and appreciated how nice I was afterwards!!   I was just really thankful that my friend gave me her pump to have and to hold for now and forever.  I almost kissed the thing I was so thankful!!!  

Part of me wants to be all grown up and tell you how I solved this problem of feeling sad and how I focused on all the things I was thankful for and then felt better.  Well, that's not going to happen because I guess I'm either really immature or I just know from experience that this feeling will go away - maybe tomorrow or  next week it will get better.  I do know that this sadness is for a good reason.  I do know that I AM VERY thankful for all my blessings and I can be sad at the same time.  I also know that my feelings are real (being sad) even if sometimes they lie to me (eg. Feeling under appreciated etc..).  I do know that God is amazing and that even when something as awesome as nursing ends that He will find something to fill that empty place.  He will be with me and walk me through it.  He has surprised me so many times and I know from our lives that He is always there.   

Even if I feel that no one may understand the blundering blatherings of this Mama, He knows me better than any one else.  Especially when on days like today, for no apparent reason other than those lovely hormones, I FEEL the full force of all the other losses in my life.  The loss of my mother being the hugest (why isn't she here to guide me through this?), the loss of six babies, and the loss of friends to...what? I don't even know, and will probably never know.  Losses so huge that it physically hurts my already aching chest.  

Feelings of rejection, abandonment, hurt and betrayal.  All the real nasties.  They are there, dark and foreboding.  So what do I do with that?  I ask God to help me forgive and I move to the next thing praying that He will comfort me somehow.  That despite this dark day - I can lay these feelings aside, give them all to him and I can open myself up to new beginnings in this over-abundant life.  I ask Him to help me love those put before me with all my heart and that I will love with abandon - not abandonment,  I ask me to help me realize that despite my best efforts to do everything right, it will be tainted and in the end GOD WILL MAKE IT GOOD and it's not up to me.I just have to keep my eyes on Jesus and continue to eagerly await His return - that is my hope.  

Did I end up writing that sermon to make myself feel better?  You know what?  Maybe I did - but hopefully it helps others too and it will show that God is merciful to sinners like me, every miserable part of me that glare and spit at all that come between me and my pump.     

PS:  Thankfully, I've only had to use the pump once.   God is good!!!  

Angled: Indian Blanket Quilt

I am doing something new!!  For Christmas Will gave me money to enroll in a quilting course - he also gave me print ups of all sorts of fun courses I could pick from in the area.  None seemed to work with our schedule.  A few weeks ago I decided to sign up for an online course on sewing with triangles (something I've never been good at) called "Angled" from this lady here:

I have not been disappointed!!  I have long been a fan of this blogger and her style and her modern take on quilting.  And the colors!!  Her use of color is something that I definately appreciate.  Also, the online concept for a course is just what this busy Mom needs.  I can read the info. when I want.  Re-read if necessary and work at my own pace - no pressure.

So...without any further ado I introduce the beginnings of my first course quilt: the Indian Blanket Quilt.
I really struggled with this one.  It's been quite the journey.  On Tuesday, I was working with the fabrics that I had chosen and nothing was feeling right.  I had not started to cut yet, I was just planning out the rows.
I began to get a serious headache.  I had to stop and while I was recovering I realized that the headache was a result of the quilt not working and I had to "scrap" the whole thing.  It was liberating and healing.  My headache went away.  At that point I decided to try another of the five quilts we could make for the course.  
The story continues...That night as I was up with my dear daughter, helping her through the teething process, my mind was happily whirling and dancing up another quilt but with different fabrics.  I then came to the realization that the one from the day before was not working for me because I had chosen the fabrics for the wrong reason.  I chose them because they were there and not because I knew they were meant for this quilt. Does that make sense?  I chose them because I had a stack of fat quarters that I love and needed to use.  So...I started from scratch and decided I wanted to use brights and for every row a light and a dark.  I even chose a theme fabric that I used to pick all the other colors!!  It came together so fast that by the afternoon I could start cutting and no headache this time.  Here is what I came up with and all from my stash (that's the best part!!):  

The brown bear paw print is from our trip to Alaska.  

That's my feature fabric on the bottom.  I love it and it's got me 

super stoked!!! 

I'm still in the cutting process so I would appreciate any suggestions or comments on the choices.  I took the top brown-green strip out as the color didn't seem to flow with the others.  Since I started cutting I've had to change things up because some fabrics are bigger than others.  It's been super fun and I can't wait to see how it's all going to turn out!!  

The Strip and Flip that Wasn't

So...I made and finished this quilt quite awhile ago for a friend.  I couldn't take pictures of the process because it was a surprise.  But then...the quilt didn't turn out how I would have liked.



Aleana took these pictures and I love how she made the quilt look so beautiful.
And parts of it really are.  I love the quilting.  The squiggles are so cute!!!





However, it was my first time using minky on such a big project and
I should have done extra basting but only did spray basting (my go-to
basting method) and then it was so bunchy in sections that I could have
cried.  But crying a quilt does not make.  Aleana really liked it flaws and all
so it is now a part of her hope chest.  So nice when a quilt is loved by someone!!




This pictures makes me want to sit by a mountain lake in the Rockies.





Normally I am not drawn to these colors but my friend loves them.
It was good to work outside my comfort zone because I really was enjoying
the muted browns and blues by the end of the process.

PS:  I did end up making another quilt for my friend using the same strips
but a different pattern, different quilting and no minky!!!  I did take pictures of that
quilt too before I sent it off to it's new home but I can't remember if I blogged
about it.  Maybe someone can remember?

Have a great day in God's hands.

A Clue or Two

I have Aleana to thank for these beautiful pictures. 

Ummmm, this sand is so yummy.  

It's really good for the intestinal tract.  

Watering the lavender. 

We water any way we can. 

Nadia, being a boofy. 

Guess, who these kids were cheering for?

In this blog post there is a clue for the giveaway.  I almost have it ready to send!!!  

I am excited to have finally figured out what to do about that :). 

Generous (?) Gifts

I realized the other day that I still have not followed through on the gift that I promised to the people who were following along with the Spring Cleaning Fail that I attempted in May.  I have three contestants (feels so important to type that!) to chose from and since I am so happy about having those three people join me I am going to send all 3 of you a gift!!!  I know, I know the Cleaning plan was a failure BUT the point is that I made the promise and I will follow through.  I just remembered that there were 2 people at the time who were also following along but had trouble getting their comments to work.  That's okay!!  I will be fair and send those two special folks a gift as well.  This should be fun!!!  I can't guarantee that they will be homemade or that they will even be made by moi.  Just be thankful I remembered :).

Update:  I have been able to complete some of the other cleaning tasks on my list since I recovered from my sinus infection.  What a blessing!!!   I am just not chronicling any of it.  After two fails - I think I give up with that.

Thanks for reading!!!  I hope to be writing more in the future.  I also have my quilt fail that I have to publish - need to share so others don't make the same minky mistakes.  

What You Feel is Not Always Real: Finding God When I Didn't Have a Clue

The summer when I was eight years old I became very ill with something the doctors thought at first was Beaver Fever but later it turned out to be something else that I don't know the name of.  I became so ill that eventually I was admitted into the hospital and stayed there on an IV for 5 days, to re-hydrate me and pump me with antibiotics.

I remember alot from that time and it's interesting to me now to go back in the recesses of my brain and see what happened from an adult perspective.  I was admitted at night because I had continued to vomit all that day and by the end of it my mother was quite concerned that this had gone on for too many days. My mother stayed with me for as long as she could during the process and her presence was my comfort.  The dark hallway of the hospital was where they kept me before I was put in a room and it was there that it hurt when they poked me to insert the IV but once it was in I was okay again.

Eventually, I was put in a big room all to myself and I remember my Mom reading a Reader's Digest beside my bed, waiting hopefully for me to sleep.  Sleep was a long time coming, Mom had to leave and I suspect that was because my brother was only 10 at the time and she had to get home to relieve the babysitter. Dad was out of town. I didn't cry when she left, I just felt very alone and afraid.  I alieved my fear by making multiple trips to the washroom as it was better to have something to do and some place to go than to lie in bed and be afraid. I don't remember what I was afraid of.  I didn't think that I was dying.

I didn't fear death but rather I was scared of the dark room and being alone.  I don't remember thinking about God or being directed to pray or being lead in prayer.  I had no clue that God was there with me.
During one bathroom visit  I heard the nurses talking about me in hushed tones as my room was next to the nursing station. "She keeps going to the washroom but surely she doesn't really have to go".  I felt slighted and more alone.  They were stating the obvious but no one came to comfort me.

The next morning, I was kept busy for awhile, having a bath with the help of a nice young nurse and brushing my hair.  Once all of that was accomplished the anxiety returned and I walked to the security doors at the end of the hall and cried and cried till I had nothing left to cry.  No one came to talk to me.

Did God comfort me through those days?  Was He with me when I didn't have a real awareness of who He was or how to communicate with Him?  My Dad called the next day and I was able to talk to him on the phone.  A family friend came to visit and brought me a tea cup and saucer that I have keep all these years.
My Mom came every day.  All of these things comforted me and the LORD used them to comfort me for which I am very thankful.

Yet, I look back and I am sad that spiritually I was not led to the throne of grace and mercy.  I am sad that no one prayed with my eight year old self when I desperately was in need.  I know that my family was praying for me but that's only something I assume now, no one mentioned it to me at the time.  When I was well, my parents were indeed thankful for my health and stated that several times to me.  I was thankful too!! We thanked the LORD at meal time prayers. All good stuff.  God was there.  He preserved my life and He has held me so close ever since that experience.

And still yet, it's a reminder to me as a parent to be aware of the urgent need to lead my children to our Father in heaven constantly and diligently.  I don't mean this story to be a negative woe is me tale or to portray my parents as neglectful.  My parents loved and still love me - that is something to be very thankful for.       

For a long time I wondered where God was when all of this happened and He allowed me to be so frightened - I don't fully know all the answers but it has made me empathize with our children more and it's given me the insight that you may go through times or challenges in your life and look back and say "Where was God?" but the answer is that He was there all along.  When I was eight I didn't have a living faith yet but I was still a Covenant child who knew about Him and His stories. God was working on things for His good pleasure, for His glory.  Yes, that's the thing I have to always remember:  It's Not About Me.  Yes, LORD, just keep telling me that because I very easily forget!!!

Thank you LORD for continuing to show me your grace and holding me close so that even when it doesn't FEEL like it, I can know that you are real and that you are always there.  AMEN
   

The Voice of Truth

                                                         "Voice Of Truth"

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again "boy, you'll never win!
"You'll never win"

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Casting Crowns

Someone close to me sang this song to a crowd and I was blessed to be in the audience.  It was beautiful!!  The LORD is amazing in the ways that He encourages us.  Lately, I have been seeing Him everywhere!! 

Do you have waves and giants to stand up against?  I think we all do.  

What are they telling you?  Mine quite often tell me that I don't know what I am doing or that what I am doing is silly. Sometimes, I can ignore them and listen to the Voice of Truth but other times I give in and before I know it the reason for all my suffering is for the simple reason of not relying on God but on myself.  

How does that work?  "You just have low self worth" one may say. It's actually worse than that - it's low God esteem.  We are low because we are listening to the negative voices in our heads that tell us untrue things which subsequently get us down and then we don't do anything anymore as we are called to do.  We are frozen.  

As we go on ignoring God's power we also tend to think too much about ourselves, our relationships (lots of women do this) and very little good things about others.  Can you be low and think too much of yourself at the same time?  The answer is a resounding "yes".  It is the thinking about yourself ALL the TIME and your relationships in a negative way and NOT thinking about the LORD that creates both a LOW mood AND an arrogant attitude.  Yes, we do need to be introspective and look at ourselves every day to find sin, repent and find ways to avoid it again but if we constantly do that or if we are in a constant "me" mode where does that bring us?  That brings us to the very ugly palace of self-love.  

What else can we do?  Get in the Word!!  Pray constantly for others and focus on others in a positive way while doing your best for them in the realms of the limits God has given you.  Looking to the needs of one's own household is sometimes all we are able to do for a time, especially when there are larger numbers of mouths to feed, clothe, and love.  

 I read in a book recently about a young man who believed he was about to die (but obviously did not or he would not have written the book) and he felt a peaceful calm about the forthcoming bullet.  He suddenly saw his colleagues that were with him in a different light.  He saw them in true love.  He saw them the way God intended them to be - beautiful people that he created to glorify Him.  It's almost as if He saw them in their perfect state and he was amazed at how truly, really beautiful they were.  Not physically, but just all over, inside and out.  He saw their gifts in God's light.  I pray that the LORD helps me to see people like that.  Wouldn't that correct alot of the hurt we create and see around us?  Oh yes!!  It would!!!         

When I, a terribly weak person, rely on God, I shut my eyes and make that leap of faith into the unknown. The unknown for me would be things like talking to the new person in church, reaching out to someone I fear will hurt me, or saying "yes" to a responsibility that seems far too overwhelming.  

Yet, He gives me wings and He strengthens me through days of little sleep and endless tasks. Relying on myself is really just ignoring God and what He can do, allowing my sinful thoughts to rule me and my inaction.  I am so thankful that He loves me enough to call me back to Him every time and through the Spirit I am able to experience what it is like to "walk on waves" and "fight Goliath".  How could I live with out HIM?  I truly don't know.